Smells Like Teen Angst

I am intimidated by high school students.

"But Emily,"  you say, "Aren't you a teacher of high school students?"

Yes, indeed.  I am.

It's not every high school student.  There are just a precious few.  The ones who stare me down, blatantly do work for other classes in my class, sleep every day, subtly break dress code.  I constantly interpret their stares as, "You have no idea what you are talking about and you are boring me to tears."

The good, effective teacher in me would stand up to them because, well, I am the teacher.  I am the authority figure.  What I say goes.  And I have NO problem doing that with middle school kids.  But there is something about these borderline defiant high school students that causes the effective teacher to hide and some pushover comes out and lets things slide.

It all kind of came to a head last Thursday.  It was one of the worst days I've had at this school because I felt like I had no control of my classroom.  And for someone who is frequently commended for excellent classroom management, this was not a good place to be.  I spent the afternoon in prayer (and in tears, because that's what I do best) and decided to go back to the "First Day of School" the next day.  All of my students got a refresher course in how to act in my classroom, what I expect from them, and what consequences they will face if these expectations are not met.  I could tell the high schoolers hated every minute of it.  But I felt like I was taking back control.  It felt good.  Friday was a complete 180 compared to Thursday.

I need to keep reminding myself how important it is for me to be an authority figure, not a buddy.  I am 26-years-old...I do not need to befriend high school students.  I have to remember that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if they "like" me...it matters that I effectively use my position of authority to teach them more about the Lord.  Hopefully the intimidation will fade as I continue to gain some confidence throughout the year.  So there's that...